the shuffle. [2/24/07]

Don't ask me why, but I'm living in 1996 this weekend. For no reason at all, I ripped my copy of Dr. Octagon (the one on Bulk Recordings, without tracks like "1977" and "Real Raw", before Dreamworks re-released it), and checking out CLASSIC wrestling on WWE 24/7, the WWE On Demand channel. I had to wait until I paid my bill to order it, but I am so happy I have it now. I've already seen great shows from WCCW, the original NWA, Randy Savage fighting Bret Hart back in 1986, and a load of other bits. I feel like a kid again, only I have a kid. Three of them, plus three cats. And they wonder why I feel like an old man...

I also checked out HIP-HOP: Beyond Beats & Rhymes, which was a decent documentary, but it didn't really say anything new. We know that the state of Hip-Hop is fucked up, but saying that is not enough. One program I also saw was BET's Top 25 Events That (Mis)Shaped Black America, which has the audacity to have "Negative Images in Hip-Hop" being on their list, when BET is the same channel that not only showcases all of these negative videos, but had BET Uncut, which was basically a forum for under-the-rader MCs to show their skrip club vids. Talk about hypocrisy...

Anyways, let's get this last shuffle for BHM 2007 going...

01/On a piece of news that finally puts to rest one of Black Entertainment's legends, the battle over where to lay James Brown to rest has finally come to a close. Why this took two months to be hashed out is ludicrous, but I guess when that much money is involved, everyone feels they need to be represented properly - or just hold up the proceedings as they see fit. The final resting spot has been on lock for whatever reason, but I'm sure the world will know so we can blow that town up like Elvis' remains blew up Graceland... not to be outdone, one of the successors to JB's legend, Michael Jackson, has to keep his name in the news, for good or ill: it looks like back in Feb. 2005, MJ visited a hospital, and to make room for him (does he really need MAD room?), this 73 year-old lady had to be moved. Her family states that, as a result of the "circus-like atmosphere" created by MJ's visit, she was unhooked from life support and ultimately died because of the ordeal. The hospital is saying they took good care of this woman, but of course, the family just sees cha-ching. Now, I totally sympathize with what they must have gone through, but is that really MJ's fault? Break it down for a second: MJ requests a private room, so this lady who had a two-bed spot got moved. The onus is on the hospital to provide care for the sick, right? Why should MJ come out of pocket over this situation? He didn't pull any plug... he just made a request and was coddled. It's a fucked up situation, but I feel they should be solely going after the hospital, not Peter Pan...

02/In the aftermath of this Britney Spears going bald mania, her ordeal is just getting weirder and more surreal as the days tick away. I first thought she was just going through a depression, but I think she might have serious issues she needs to deal with. In the beginning of the week, locks of her hair were supposedly up on eBay for sale; who knows how much they had, but then I heard about this website, that's asking for $1M for her hair. There are lots of pictures up there (even ones with a Bic lighter and a can of Red Bull, like this is some twisted still-life art project), and while they look like a lot of hair, I'm not sure one million bucks is truly worth it. Next came Britney's dabbling with the rehabilitative services, first going back to rehab on Tuesday, only to duck out yet AGAIN on Wednesday, but is not set to be spending $48K on a 30-day stint. Many think that her completing rehab will help her keep her kids, but who knows. I'd be surprised if a judge would seriously consider K-Fed a legit parent. I'm just wondering what Brit is doing to herself. I don't see her as a heavy drug user, although the sight of her snorting up the white lines is not that foreign of a thought; do we really think she would get drunk enough to be considered an endangerment? Finally, the last bit of Brit I have this week is a fucking wacked-out Brit. X17online looks like it had a serious encounter with Britney on the 22nd of Feb., while she was trying to visit her boys at Kevin's residence. Apparently Fed didn't open the gate, so this enraged Britney, who took it out on the photographers with an umbrella. There's even a video on the site that shows the entire ordeal, from the cursing from Britney's mouth to the marks on on of the dude's backs from the umbrella. Sick, sad world indeed...

03/I wanna send a shoutout to Bol for keeping the Joe Rogan vs. Carlos Mencia video up on one of his blogs. I knew comedians bit each other's bits, for I've been watching stand up ever since I was a shorty, but I just couldn't believe how many guys were saying that Carlos in particular stole from their acts. I think it'd be one thing if he wasn't so damn popular, with his TV show and stuff. It's just insane when you actually see footage of someone telling a joke, then he goes and does it practically identical a few years later. I knew there was a reason I couldn't get into him. And the fact that he's overplaying the Mexican thing, when his real name is Ned Holness and shit (LOL WTF), it's just got fraud written all over it (here's an mp3 of Joe Rogan talking for 40+ minutes about Mencia and more on Jim Bruer's satellite radio show). Who woulda thought that Fear Factor's old host was so deep, btw? After doing my research on more Joe Rogan craziness, I was directed to this link on his website about the "Santa Claus" story being derived from (magic) mushroom use? The fucked up part is, with the pictures included, that shit kind of makes sense. Something to think about, esp. for you 4AM stoners...

04/For some reason, there were people who kept tripping up on shit this week. This one poor bastard from San Francisco returned from his two-week trip to find that his apartment had not only turned over by apparent robbers, but he literally tripped on a corpse that was lying in his apartment. How do you trip over a fucking dead body? I rarely walk into dark rooms without some kind of light; how do you not see a grown adult lying dead on your floor? Well, it was in Haight-Ashbury, so you do the math... On the other side of the country, a Florida teen stumbled upon one of the largest fossils ever found in that area in nearly a century: a 65 lb. jaw/tooth from a mammoth, supposedly. While it was black, it must have been in pretty good condition. I wonder, does the kid get any kind of recognition (other than this story) for finding this, and does that include monetary compensation? I always wondered if you could get rich finding shit like that, these days anyways. I just never fall upon surprising shit like that. Last thing I found out of the blue was a $5 bill like 6 years ago. Now I keep my eyes on my feet from time to time, but all I find are pennies...

05/To break things up a bit, I want to hit you guys off with some news stories from the crazy world known as "Urban Entertainment". That's white radio for Black People Shit. The dude Taye Diggs must have someone who really loves him over at ABC: after being in the failed Day Break program, he has been offered a new role in the forthcoming Grey's Anatomy spin-off. Again, all these cats get work THROWN at them, I spent 4 months at my PC, hunting... I wanna big up Spike Lee for winning a Polk Award on his When The Levees Break documentary for HBO; if you haven't seen this doc, it's the one to watch... In a decision that is 13 years too late, a judge ordered OJ to start paying the Goldmans from the residuals he received from his past work. My question is, how much of that money do they seriously think is there? By the time the trial and shit came, he wasn't exactly rolling in the dough, and Team Cochran cost him a pretty penny. What a bunch of bullshit, they might as well bleed OJ and sell his corpse to science... Rizoh reported on The Rap Up that Hip-Hop is not doing well in terms of album sales. It is kind of telling that the only guys from last year who went plat were T.I., Jay-Z, Ludacris and fucking Gnarls Barkley. Do you think Diddy barely passing gold will stop him from making solo albums?... J-Zone, of the my favorite producer's you've never heard, broke down his Five Things That Killed Hip-Hop, creating one of the more concise write-ups on Hip-Hop's descent... Redman kept it gully with AllHip-Hop in his recent interview (parts 1 and 2), breaking down his thoughts on the current state of Hip-Hop and Def Jam, him being a more mature individual, and his plans for himself and his Gilla House crew... This week was an odd one for rich niggas who are my age: Nick Cannon got married to a dame he had only been seeing for less than a month. Talk about Wild'n Out; on the flipside, word is that Usher got engaged, with no known wedding date. Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but doesn't shit like this tarnish their images? I can understand if they come into the game with someone on their arm, but these guys are known primarily for their bachelor-ness. I just don't see how this helps them at all, but good luck to them nonetheless!... Beanie Sigel fucked up his probation and got an additional six months for testing positive for codeine and morphine, as well as hanging with convicted felons. Do they not know how Beans rolls? Mac is just a hood dude, they had to have known that he wasn't going to stop. I feel for him, though, because I know he is trying to get his career back on track - at least I thought he was. Beanie, please just lay off the sizz and the purp for six months, then get back in that booth and do you. No need to risk your livelihood any more than you already are... Finally, Busta Rhymes figured that, "hey, since I beat my charges recently, it will be OK if I go out driving with my Ls suspended"; mind you, if convicted he only has to do 15 days, but what good is that? And why was he driving anyways? I know he spent a grip on those icey medallions he has been rocking the last year or so, but no more loot to pay ya boy to sit behind the wheel? I'll never get it...

06/This guy who got fired from IBM has a set of cajones on him, yo! It looks like dude had been visiting some 'adult' chatrooms, and when IBM found out, they booted him. He says he is addicted to the Internet, needs some therapy, and figures he should sue IBM for $5M. Say whaaa? Let me get this straight: your ass is so addicted to both the Internet AND porn that you have to be on your work PC chatting on adult chat lines? AND THEY SHOULD PAY YOU FOR THIS!? Shit, I guess I should go pay the good people of Swank a visit and get some money back for long-term pain/suffering.

07/Speaking of porn, Antonella Barba, NJ's answer to shitty singers in this season's American Idol competition, has been outed this week for a gang of sexually-explicit photos of her that hit the 'Net this week (here are 13 shots of her in various outfits/poses; more explicit shots here). I will never understand who finds a pic of her holding a Swiffer as something erotic, but to each his own... the sad part is, these shots show a promising career; this audition? Not so much... and while Idol producers are now aware of the shots, they have not made a decision on whether they will pull a 'Frenchie' on her or not. I would imagine so, but only time will tell. I guess at the end of the day, Sprite was wrong: Image is everything.

08/In other naked female news, blogger Perez Hilton is in hot water, AGAIN, this time over some topless photos of Jennifer Aniston he posted on his blog. It looks like the shot was made during filming of The Break-Up, but was never used, for whatever reason (probably b/c her tatas are kind of teeny), and Perez is said to have obtained them illegally. I say fair play to him for posting it up, but he might want to choose his culprits a tad more wisely in the future: Aniston is a pistol, and is definitnely equipped to rape you in court fees, dog. Good luck in this one...

09/Remember Tommy Morrison? He was an average boxer, and starred in Rocky V, playing, well, himself, but ended up testing positive for HIV and ended up retiring? Well, he recently tested negative for HIV, and already had his first fight on Thursday, whooping a bum's ass in the 2nd Round. This is wild though, because he's apparently tested negative on like 5 or 6 tests in the past couple of months. How did he end up testing positive back in 1996? What was he doing in that 11 years, meaning, was he taking meds or receiving HIV treatment of any kind? I just don't see how he lived with that for 11 years, and only just recently got back to trying to reclaim his name and life back. I can only imagine how frustrating that ordeal was for him, but something just seems wrong. Eh, at the end of the day, he can get his weight up and get his ass kicked by a whole weight-class of bums and underachievers. What a great time to be a pro boxer!

10/I knew there were millions of blogs and bloggers out there in the world, but had no idea about Amanda Baggs, an autistic woman who, by reading her page, would not come off as autistic from the rip. She writes about living with autism, her personal struggles, the media attention she is receiving as of late, and whatever else is on her mind. In her face-to-face dealings, as reported by CNN, she is drastically different: introverted, reserved, and she does not communicate like others do. She says she is bilingual in a sense, and referred to seeing things in terms of color, which I had heard author Daniel Tammet, who is also autistic, make reference to with his book. It's ironic how little mainstream America knows of autistic people. Like, my oldest daughter is autistic: my wife tells me time and again about how Tika is not supposed to be speaking/using the bathroom/reading/interacting, etc., essentially, they had Tika pegged to be a vegetable before she was out of diapers. Now, you wouldn't know it. And you know what? Tika is probably smarter in things others aren't. Most people equate autism with Rain Man, which my wife has never seen, and sadly, they wouldn't be wrong. I think America needs to educate people more about this disease, especially with studies showing that the number of Americans living with autism is a lot larger than we once thought. Think on that.

11/Alright, with that, let's hit you guys with the ADD rundown of the rest of this week's new bits: James Gandolfini helped usher in this year's Mardi Gras celebration in an ugly ass shirt... this poor Florida teen can't stop her hiccups... Although she failed a field sobriety test, and let the cops know that she was smoking herb and took some Vicodin before getting into her vehicle, Nicole Richie entered a not guilty plea in her DUI case... Viacom hates YouTube, so it decided to create a solution: set up its own online video viewing service. While they gain control of how their programming is viewed online, it will lose loads of viewers who have to a) download a separate program to view the Viacom videos and b) have to sit through commercials. Sometimes bucking the trend is not the best option... Buckethead, the former Guns'N'Roses guitarist who recreates ODB songs and Bruce Lee themes, all whilst wearing a KFC bucket on his head, is currently selling a 13-disc collection of albums entitled In Search Of The, which he is personally burning and shipping himself ($20 for a single CD, $200 for the entire set). There is no concrete artwork, nor does anyone know anything about the music on it, but I bet you the guitars are intense and the other sounds are out there. Check out his site for a dose of weirdness... A lot of people are saying that, statistically, Martin Luther King, Jr. Boulevards across the nation are not as crime-ridden as we like to believe. I dunno, I grew up near an MLK Blvd., and there's always violence or drug running on that street... There's a situation going on currently involving a military man being accused of serial rape in the military. Now, they say he drugged these dudes with GHB and sodomized them, but one of the guys says that they did have consensual sex in the past. Since most of these accusers are guys in uniform, I can only think of 2 scenarios: either dude really did rape them, or they just skurred of being outed in the military. Or a possible 3rd scenario: the accused was a ho, and too many of his partners found out what he was doing and concocted a scheme. I wonder if this will get more mainstream attention, this could be a big case in terms of gay rights issues, esp. in a military context... Cisco and Apple have settled their iPhone dispute, with Apple basically being able to use the name, but only if they get gwap with Cisco in the future. Cisco, you punked you, but I see why you did that: it was easier to break bread than break the bank in court fees battlin' Apple... Former SNL star Jimmy Fallon is being rumored as Conan O'Brien's successor when Conan takes over Jay Leno's spot in 2009. Is that wise? Jimmy had no career after SNL, and hey, Arsenio should still be free. Or just holler at me. I'll blog while doing the show, double exposure!... For you fans of the Game Cube, Nintendo announced that it has officially stopped manufacturing new titles for the unit. There are still tons of games available in the stores, and my daughter Tika swears by the system, but hey, gotta make room for the Wii... Louis Farrakhan is going to be making his final address on Sunday, which is kind of a landmark thing I guess. The jew bashing and ridiculous posturing can now end. I just wonder who will be HIS successor... Rakim?... Some well placed, porno boomboxes turned faithful church goers' Ash Wednesday into Ass Wednesday (sorry, I had to!!!)... You know the state of the world is in trouble when teachers are buying crack in middle school offices and cops are too dumb to realize when THEY are being stung for their pseudo-mobster lifestyle. And they wonder why are children turn out the way they do.

___

Hey, this turned out pretty good. Now for my final thought:


Randy Savage and Arsenio Hall: two guys I miss these days. Even if the Macho Man lost some points trying to rap...

Be easy, peeps.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 24, 2007 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

2 Responses to “the shuffle. [2/24/07]”

Dreas said...

re: platinum artists

i think that hip hop is still more commercially successful than many other genres. i mean, how many artists went platinum in 2006 anyway, other than nelly furtado, christina aguilera, mary j or justin timberlake who for some reason were mainly produced by hip hop artists.

and why hating on gnarls barkley? it was a funny project that happened to be more successful than everybody thought in the beginning, which is cool if you ask me.

khal said...

re: hiphop being more successful: i dunno about that one. as a genre, maybe, but the performers aren't as successful as other performers. justin timberlake, unless his lp is fucking doodoo, will always sell shitloads of records. snoop couldn't buy platinum if he wanted to. hiphop has a lot more flash-in-the-pan artists than many other genres, and they end up making more money OUTSIDE of the music industry than inside, which you cannot say for mainstay rock acts like U2, Rolling Stones, Christina, and others...

why do i hate on gnarls? not my cup of tea. i dislike DM's production, which I will also say for DangerDoom - just not what I like hearing from him. b) Cee-Lo is a shit singer IMHO. I can't get into that wailing voice of his, never been into it. i like his writing and his rhyming, but the singing doesn't move me at all. i respect their G and am glad they made as much noise as they did on a project they essentially emailed back and forth to each other, but that doesn't mean I have to like the way it sounded.