Monday, September 10, 2007

Real Talk: SMH @ Britney

What's going on, Miss Britney? How are the kids? Good, I hope. They weren't watching mommy last night, were they? I'm kind of surprised I was...

Now, Brit, I wanted to holla at you because, you're slipping. I got no comment about you shaving your head, or slobbing down randoms in the pool, or even showing your coochie. That's you, do your thing - out of the public eye. Your shit going on in the magical gossip world is one thing. How do you remedy your situation? You knock 'em out. "Gimme More" has gotten some good press, considering, and even T-Pain said you were easy (snicker) to work with. Why do you look like you had eaten about 50 quaaludes before getting up on stage last night?

Were you tired, ma? Did you need a nap? Did you forget your steps? Was the light in your eyes? Did someone put you off? What was that God-awful arrangement there? The whole situation was muddy.

My wife saw you perform in Trenton, NJ, about 3 years ago or so. Loved your show. Where's that Brit? And what's going to happen when your LP drops in a few months - wait, is it still dropping this year? Did you just fuck up your career?

Hey Brit, did you ever hear the theory that most bad relationships are prolonged due to good sex? This is what you did: you could come with the most outlandish shit, but as long as the headgame was on point, America could give a fuck.

Shit, I wasn't even mad at your lil' tummy, or the new thickness of your legs. For many men in America, that thicker look is sexy as hell. Keep it up!

Last night, you used your teeth instead of your tongue. You complained of your jaw hurting. You then proceeded to get on top, only to get off after two pumps b/c your head hurt.

Brit, you need some help. Go get it before you flush your shit further down the toilet.

1 comments:

Enigmatik said...

Throwed analogy, son.