One third of Masspyke, Hanif-Jamiyl's Krushed Grapes is the kind of Hip-Hop album you put on when you go shopping for lace undergarments for your lady friend. The kind of album you put on when you need to get into the zone of "I'm gonna get me some ass tonight". Or, at least, it tries to be...
"Take It Off"
OK, so homeboy is coaxing his girl to take her panties off with a piano loop. Have YOU ladies ever had your grapes crushed before? Yeah, I don't know what's going on here either...
Wow, dude's voice sounds like a pimp with a stuffy nose. And he comes off like a nerd who just got his first nut and fashions himself as the ultimate player. Sad thing is, dude is serious...
"Yes U R"
This one is more like it - the ultimate cocky nigga in the club track. This nigga is actually letting you know that, even if you think you aren't trying to get with him, you really are. Although any nigga who says he prefers wine to beer, I immediately have a puzzled look. This flow sounds like Q-Tip circa The Love Movement.
Why is dude trying to be Andre 3000 imitating Prince? Like, everything about fucking doesn't have to be "honey dripped lips" and all that pseudo-poetry slam malarky. Oh, this beat is fucking horrendous.
And just when I thought dude was going to get off the "player" shit, a track entitled "Alone" is about what he'd do for the chick that's alone... with him. Yawn, already, damn!
This is a track that's to make you ladies get on the floor and, you know, gyrate. Thing is, this is like a dance track for the incense burning crowd. And his lyrics are questionably un-incense burning. Mark, you've been missed.
Christ, we're halfway through this and I'm thoroughly bored.
Even the interludes are boring. And unnecessary, even if it includes a Lauryn Hill sample.
You know he be dreaming, right? Maybe he should have hit the snooze button and kept this track on the cutting room floor...
"Let Him Go"
I am with him on this. Any of your females who are stressing over ain't-shit niggas, stop that shit. Let them niggas go. And go find some better CDs.
Dude letting his girl know that, no, he wasn't out trickin', he was in the studio making wack tracks about fuckin' and relationships. This feels like an episode of Maury...
"She Got It All"
What do you get for the girl that has it all? Definitely not Krushed Grapes...
"Just A Nut (beware of dog)"
Probably the best beat on here, which isn't saying a lot. Dude half-singing to a bitch, letting her know that she's nothing more than a nut.
Dude's rhymes aren't that bad on this one. Or maybe I am just glad that this album is over.
Wow. I didn't think I could dislike an album this much. Maybe it's just me, but this Pharrell for the 30 and up crowd is just not poppin' for me. I don't believe that dude is a player, I am tired of him sounding like other rappers, and it was just an overall boring experience.
rock the dub gives Krushed Grapes 1 out of 5 stars. Unbelievably dull CD about one of the most exciting acts in the world - sex.
Burn Deez: n/a
Krushed Grapes is out either NOW or on May 6th, depending on which site you hit up.
[video] Hanif-Jamiyl "Wet Dream"