the shuffle. [9/30/06]

What's really good, fam? Another week down, another batch of heat in terms of news stories. And, I copped a pretty dope shirt at Walmart, long-sleeved Batman jawn. Old school logo and all. Holla.

My shorty is growin' like a real man should. Chubby ass cheeks, the shit is surreal. You have to love the miracle of life. You might not love the lack of sleep, but you know how that goes... baby has to eat, so you gotta get up and feed him. I keep promising more pics to everyone, and they are comin', just let me be on that. Chuuch.

Let's get it.

01/Possibly the biggest story of the week is the Terrell Owens suicide watch. The initial reports said that T.O. tried to murk himself by ODing on sleeping pills, but he is saying that he was not attempting self-murkage. He is not named in the police report, but his publicist chick reported to many news outlets that she called that shit in. My thing is, how the fuck does the police have a report on your ass if you just had an allergic reaction? I mean, I hope he didn't try to kill himself, that's serious shit, but I smell a rat. Did he fabricate this whole fiasco to get hype for tomorrow's game, which I will probably be watching? Funny fucking nigga. Funny ass dude. In the end, as long as he is doing his thing in terms of catching that pigskin, no one can say shit about his off-field antics... but the nigga ain't even doing that. We shall see.

02/Speaking of niggas on some bullshit, did you guys hear about The Game? Dude went from being on Dr. Dre's Aftermath label through G-Unit to beefing with 50 and eventually getting booted from both G-Unit AND Aftermath to Geffen (although, in the latest XXL Magazine, he claims to be in some kind of limbo he isn't even aware of what label his LP will come out on), he is now shouting 50 out on NY radio (audio here)?! I mean, he went from "Oh, see if Dre on the album when you cop it" to fully acknowledging that there is no Dre on this album? How did the man who penned vicious diss tracks like "300 Bars & Runnin'" become such a pussy? Something else is going on there... something like The Game been runnin' his mouth too much and is about to get dropped, quick. Wait 'til November comes... see if his shit comes out correct.

03/You gotta love it when the chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus is instant messaging boys, asking them to take off their boxers and shit. Mike Foley, a Republican down in Florida, apparently bounced in a HURRY after ABC News asked him about his ways with lil boys over the 'Net. What kind of sick shit is this? Do they not screen these motherfuckers before letting them run things? First FEMA, now this. Well, first Dubya, then FEMA...

04/I want to send my heartfelt condolences to Reverend Run & his family over the loss of their newborn. Although Run is putting on a good face in this tragic situation, I know he is hurting. That's hard, no matter how the baby dies... now, while this was going on, the rest of the Run DMC trio's beefs went from silent ruminations to full-blown beef! Word is DMC hasn't really been coming around to JMJ's family's house, and Momma JMJ felt the need to air this out, in front of the whole crowd at this Milestones Awards show. I mean, she says things like JMJ would have laced DMC's fam with money if DMC was the one who got murked, but that's not really concrete, you feel me? I feel her though, that shit's fucked up. Support ya boy... but then again, you have to look at the flipside: Run has crazy loot, while DMC is doing VH1 shows and other bullshit TV spots to make dough. I mean maybe he couldn't drop duckets, but he should have dropped by.

05/Image is everything in Hip-Hop. This week, noz exposed Lupe Fiasco's fake ass, by letting us in on a pretty unknown track Lupe did 3 years back, called "Pop Pop", and laced with a bunch of crack rap and bragadaccio. Fucking bitchmade Muslim. He is skateboarding and preaching kill Whitey now, but back then he was nothing more than a wannabe Clipse. Sad state of affairs; no wonder you didn't even push 100K your first week out.

06/There's a boatload of Hip-Hop set to drop in the coming months, and Sacha over @ OhWord dropped his predictions on how each album will do. Paul Wall spoke to MTV this week on how his new album is going to be more mature, even though his subject matter seems to still be the exact same. How you guys can get married and have kids and still rhyme about females is questionable in my book... Eve also waxed poetic on her upcoming album, which is a joint venture between Swizz Beatz & his Full Surface label, and Dre's Aftermath. What she's doing singing is ANYONE's guess, but I hope she does well. She's been under wraps for a minute, and I'd rather see her in videos than putting out "Fetish" wear... Clipse's Pusha T went on the record and seemed to try to make amends for his comments about his record label last week. Dude, if you're frustrated, don't apologize! You know full fucking well you need to have been out a while ago, and not pushed back everytime Jive feels like it. Stand your ground, nigga. Oh, and winner for the illest interview ever is Beanie Sigel, who bared his soul a bit for The Fader in this in depth piece about his dealings now with Jay, Dame, State Property and his contract at Def Jam. Check it out.

07/On the Publicity Stunt side of things, Aaron Carter broke off his week long engagement to a Playboy Playmate his brother used to bone. Now, I had no idea he was rocking sloppy seconds from his brother, but then I hear that they have a reality show on E! set to debut this month? Fuck that, we don't believe you! Silly bastard.

08/It looks like "The Boondocks" might not be returning to the newspapers that made it so nationally known. Six months ago, Aaron McGruder, the strip's creator, said he was taking a hiatus to give his brain a recharge (he was also in the midst of completing the cartoon version), and his 6 month siesta was to end like now. Damn shame, his strips were fucking MINT! I own a few of the collections; so witty, so biting... but then again, as long as the show is coming back, I can't hate. It's almost as if the strip lead to the show, which is probably the best show of it's kind on right now.

09/Those bitches at Apple are funny. This week, they announced that they are not wanting anyone to use the term "podcast" anymore, which mirrors their previous gripe about people using the word "pod" when it relates to anything musical. I think that one is outright bologna. I mean, yes, I understand iPod accesories not sanctioned by Apple being pulled for using the company name, or something that reflects it. Podcasts are (normally) free, and 9 times out of 10, people who provide podcasts ask you to use iTunes software to acquire it! Are they wanting to shoot themselves in the foot now? And think about it... podcasts are so fucking large now, it's going to be hard fucking word to eradicate that term from the tech language now. Good job, dumbasses. In related news, there is more info on Microsoft's "Zune" player out. Word is this jammy is set to retail for $250, and will be dropping on November 14th. Can't wait to see what you Apple-haters will say when this drops.

10/So "Screech" is in a sex tape now, eh? Not only is this fucker getting royalties from Saved By The Smell, he apparently filmed it himself, I guess trying to save money to keep his crib. The people watching and buying this travesty of good taste must be sick in the head, or really big fans of the Zack Attack.

11/It worked for Spider-Man and Batman, putting a clean-cut, non-athletic dude in the role of a superhero, and now they hope this works for the upcoming Ironman movie, with Robert Downey Jr. stepping into the iron suit as Tony Starks. I'm actually feeling this: it is a good look, having guys who can act playing these roles, as opposed to Hugh Jackman.

12/I know some of you guys THINK you can act crazy, but you don't know how to do it until you read this article. Try this shit out and let me know what it do, I have some things I need to get accomplished...

13/You have to love it when outside companies fix Microsoft's problems before they get a patch out. How fucking sad is this?! When will they start paying these guys to do professional work for them? I mean it's proposterous that niggas will pay money for an OS as buggy as Windows and then have to wait for them to drop a "legit" piece of software to fix old problems.

14/People over in Illinois don't play -- word is this chick murked an acquaintance and her kids, cut out the lady's baby from the womb, and stuffed the other 3 kids in the fucking washer and dryer. How sick is that? And for what, to have the kid end up stillborn and have a funeral like this is really your seed? I mean, she at least fessed up, but what if the cards were dealt another way... the baby lives, and she has to go through life with that shit on her chest. Sickening, yo. And idiotic. Go adopt or some shit.

15/Do you get the sniffles when you are around cats? Go cop the sneeze-free jawns. Again, this is a dope concept, but shit, CURE SOME OTHER SHIT FIRST! AIDS, cancer, fucking SARS, West Nile. Fuck some hypoallergenic cats.

16/B.I.G. update: LA has given Volleta back her $50K, and there is a new B.I.G. doll forthcoming. RIP Biggie Smalls, you are still alive over here. Need to throw some of your shit on RIGHT NOW! Holla.

17/In one final note of stupidity, Anna Nicole Smith had a fake marriage in Nassau. She married this dude without a formal ceremony, nor was it legally binding. What's the point, you ask? She needed a fucking pick-me-up. Yes, she lost her son who was on Methadone for an as-yet-undetermined "illness" (one word: smack), but she also just gave birth. My wife gave birth almost a month ago, and yes she might have some emotional feelings going on, but she didn't ask to remarry. You just have to focus and deal. They also don't even know who the daddy is! Take her ass to Maury, you'll find out in like a day or 2. Duh.

OK word, that's all the ish I have for you lot this week. Tune in next week for more insanity and wit. One.

Oh, one more thing:


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Major points for "self-murkage".
You are that dude