the shuffle. [1/27/07]

Hell, I need to tear myself away from this skateboard stuff for just a bit. Wifey bought me Tony Hawk Project 8 a few weeks ago, and in between bouts of The Da Vinci Code for PS2 and job hunting, I've been getting my skate on. Virtually, of course. I wanna shout out my boy SBK for putting me on to the skate scene - I think I'm gonna be getting into more of these vids in the near future. Right now, I've been checking out almost's "Cheese and Crackers", which shows some INSANE tricks from Chris Haslam and Daewon Song. Beautiful stuff. If you guys are into that kind of stuff, let me know some other boarders I should be on the lookout for...

I also just made up some of my own slang - I am going to start calling bad white wine "white weasel". I just had to pour out a full bottle - the shit looked like pee in the glass, and tasted like ass. Ugh.

Shuffle time, let's go!

01/With the Super Bowl popping off in about a week, there have been a few interesting news stories regarding, surprisingly, pregnancy and "Da' Bears". The first is about this wife who is a real trooper, for lack of a better term. She opted for an early inducement on a Friday so her husband could go to the Saints-Bears playoff game last Sunday. I love my wife, and I saw what she had to go through with her inducement of my son - I am already in debt to her for the rest of my life. If she actually chose to induce so I could then leave her side and go to a fucking football game? She deserves a HEAP of medals... especially since the Bears are probably getting WAXED next week. The 2nd involves a mother-to-be who is a Bears fan and wants to get to the big game. She isn't trying to whore herself out, or do something ridiculous like swallow a box of nails to go to the game, no: she wants to get some tickets in exchange for painted on ads on her belly. Now, this might sound interesting at first, but what if this chick doesn't get on TV during the big game? I mean, an event like the Super Bowl is strict in terms of TV time, what with the millions of dollars spent on each new commercial... you have to have a tight window of time so your sponsors can get it cracking. She might end up on her local station, but we'll see about her making that big game. Good luck to her, and good luck to 'Da Bears'. I still want Peyton Manning and those Colts to win it, but any championship game where both coaches are Black is a win in the history books for a guy like me.

02/While most of you guys are worrying about getting murked in gunfire, the government is hard at work making a ray gun that makes a bitch feel like he's on fire. They call the shit a "non-lethal" weapon, b/c it shouldn't make you die, but who knows. I mean, fuck a taser, if I see a beam of light and it makes me feel like my arm is about to char and bake, yeah I'm dropping my piece. Now, the thing that bothers me is the comments about "oh, we should be using this in Iraq or Afghanistan". No, no. That's convoluted thinking. In the Middle East and other spots, they will chop off your hand for stealing. We already hung Saddam for his sadistic ways, shouldn't we be a bit more biting in our treatment to the guys who had a hand in dropping the towers? "You drop planes into our towers, we shoot you with a beam that makes you drop you gun" doesn't sound like "winning a war" to me. Then again, look at the admin we are under right now...

03/Speaking of gats and war, this Bloods member had me spitting out my morning cup of water this week. His lawyers tried to interpolate the famous "battered woman syndrome" defense, which helps women who have murdered someone who had been assaulting/abusing/etc them. My man's lawyers tried to come up with the "battered gangster syndrome" defense, which sounds like the most ridiculous pile of legal bullshit this side of the Trenton Makes. The thing that cracks me up is, niggas SWEAR they are hard, and will pistol whip and buck their guns any which way they can, but when they get put in the bing, and the clock is on them, and they see their ridiculous actions spell MAD YEARS for them in the pen, all of the sudden they were shook b/c a nigga was going to beat them up if they didn't throw a malatov cocktail? Nigga, get a life. Or get a pussy. If you are in a situation where you knowingly choose to roll with a gang, cool, do you, but when you get caught, be a fucking man, own up to your shit, and if you want to live in the prison, don't snitch. Other than that, don't pull that ho bullshit, "oh he was going to cut my face up again!" You sound like a herb, and you need to leave that alone.

04/Here's one reason why I'll never set foot in Texas: the white students at Tarleton State decided to put on a "MLK party", mocking Black stereotypes, including drinking 40s, performaning "step shows", and wearing afro wigs and fake gold teeth. I mean, OK, you want to mock Black people, do you. I can mock White people on the regular. I think what gets under my collar is the fact that you associate that stuff with MLK, as if any of that has a damn thing to do with MLK. If I was to have a "JFK Party" where we all wore Brookes Brothers suits and snorted coke off of the breasts of blonde white freaks in mini skirts, I'd be Saddam'd already (or worse, Saddam's half-brother'd)l I wonder what will happen to these kids, though.

05/Speaking of Texas... one of the first openly gay rappers, Deadlee, has his "Homo Hip-Hop Tour" rolling through a load of dates in Texas in the '07. You have to respect a guy who is that open in this homophobic genre, esp. when he bills his style of Hip-Hop as "Gayngsta" or "Homohop". He's even beefing with MCs, like 50 Cent, who he tells to "suck on his gun", and calls Eminem out for his lyrics on "Criminal", saying that he "knew all of the subcultures" and says "he might be a fag". I love when someone tries to make a name for themselves off the backs of others... I mean, that's how 50 got on, no? He got signed off his skills, but niggas remember him for his Ja Rule beef. The thing is, aside from the gay/lesbian community, Deadlee is going to have to step it up and come correct. At the end of the day, Hip-Hop will live or die off of skills, and if his image and M.O. is just being gay and calling people out, that shit will die a quick death. If he has mic skills to back that up -- who knows, maybe he will hit the big leagues.

06/Speaking of Hip-Hop and Black Entertainment, I have a bunch of quick shots to buck at you guys, get ready: when he's not getting into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Grandmaster Melle Mel is pursuing a career in the WWE. Now, he might have some muscle to him, and he went to wrestling school, this a wrestler does not make. Dude is what, 45? Slow down, get your paper, and just cool out man... The hearing for DJ Drama and Don Cannon was postponed this week. How these guys are being brought up on racketeering charges is beyond me; how you can be considered to be blackmailing someone who you are ultimately helping not only get cred in the street (which is the most important place for a current Hip-Hop artist to be), but also helping make money, is beyond me... For you fans of the Wu-Tang Clan, their first LP since 2001's Iron Flag, 8th Diagram, is scheduled to drop this summer on SRC, a label that is headed up by the same cat who was the head of Loud Records back when the Wu was originally singed to their group deal. This album is said to include a tribute to ODB, as well as a live performance from the ol Dirt Dog. Hopefully all of these cats will be on their pen game when this one drops... your favorite NOLA sex offender Mystikal was released from prison, sort of; it looks like niggas thought him serving the length of his tax evasion charges meant he'd be getting out, and they forgot about the whole ordeal with the forced oral sex on tape. And to think, I downloaded "Danger" for nothing... everyone's favorite G-Unit MC, Young Buck, was arrested this week on old driver's license charges. I guess he had to get in the news again before Buck The World drops... depending on how you see it, Diddy is either milking BIG for all he is worth or kicking a dead horse: Rizoh @ TRU let it be known that Bad Boy is set to drop a "Greatest Hits" package of BIG's songs, which I could personally make for you for $5 (sans hi-quality cover). Why we need a "Greatest Hits" package when BIG hardly had enough material to warrant a true, retail GH CD is beyond me. I could see if Diddy just opened the vaults and put all of BIG's shit out on a 3 or 4 disc set; I'd gladly lay down loot for hi-quality versions of all of the Biggie joints Bad Boy ever created, but we won't get that, no. We get "Nasty Girl" and tracks we've already grown to love and grow old with. Fix up, Puff... RIP Disco D, who produced Trick Daddy's "I Pop", which was great news to me...

07/Here is one reason why I don't go to the movies anymore: the trailer for the upcoming Ghost Rider film. Forget the fact that I used to read the comic when I was a shorty (I came from the Daniel Ketch era of GR), or the fact that I am a sucker for comic movies, but this movie doesn't even seem appealing. I thought Nicholas Cage was a good look for the role, but then I saw him act, and his delivery is all wrong for the tone of the series. And Eva Mendes? She has a dope body, but something about her face just irks me... I think it's her nose. In any case, we need less of this.

08/In a move that I applaud and wish had been going on back in the Mike Tyson glory days, HBO is set to debut a "tie-in" reality series that will lead up to the much-anticipated battle between Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather, Jr., which takes place this May. De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7 is set to premiere on April the 15th, and looks like it will be a 4 part series. I doubt there will be much "grit" and realness in the series, as each has an image to uphold, but imagine if this takes off - who WOULDN'T want to see some of these characters in their daily lives? And imagine the stories the cam would tell if they could have followed Tyson in his prime... I shudder at the thought.

09/Finally, I want to send a huge RIP to the man like Bam Bam Bigelow; he was orignally from Asbury Park, NJ, and while he reached star status in WWE, ECW and in Japan wrestling organization, his depression and drug abuse has been well documented. Jim Ross blogged about him, and drops knowledge on the man. I mean, anyone who can top 400 pounds and still come from the top rope nightly is a force to be reckoned with. Many remember his WWF days, where he went from an unknown mastadon to a highly successful and larger-than-life figure (his face in video games and that bald head didn't hurt either); it's just a shame to see the wrestling world lose another hero. You are missed, Bam Bam.

That's the way the cookie crumbles, folks. Not the most exciting week of news, but we deal with the hand we are dealt. Hope you enjoyed, and check back for the next installment. I will leave you with this video, the new single from Stephen Marley ft. Damien Marley, a track entitled "The Traffic Jam" which my wife HATES. That beatbox is dope IMO. Check it out:


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