the shuffle. [2/17/07]

I was going to spend my lil section before the shuffle talking about my lacks... lack of new music, lack of job, lack of patience, but who wants to hear about that right now? I'm sure you don't.

I do want to publicly applaud Niecy Nash, who is a cast member in Reno 911!, as well as that black chick who always wears flowers in her hair. Well, the Reno cast (shouts to The Show), have a new film dropping next week entitled Reno 911!: Miami, and I guess their premiere just happened this past week, for Natasha of YBF fame posted up some pics of Niecy straight up assed out. Gotta love it. The thing is, when someone got played out or exposed, I used to say they got "assed out like Prince pants", but I might have to change it to "assed out like Niecy Nash".

Why, you may ask, did I lead off with that? Who knows. Why does most of the nonsense that happens in this world happens? Which takes me into this week's round-up of odd news. Consider yourselves warned...

01/In this week's Black History "What The Fuck Are You Doing, Ma?" department, Foxy Brown recently got arrested in Florida for an incident in a beauty shop where homegirl was told it was closing time. Now, I can see if you are Oprah Winfrey, and someone tells you "look, we have to shut down the store", and you are in some ultra exclusive spot, taking time out of your hectic schedule to pluck down serious cash on shit. Nah, Foxy, who may or may not still be signed to Def Jam, was in the fucking beauty shop sampling the inventory. When she was told that the shop was closing, she threw fucking hair glue at the workers. While they called 911, she spit on the people, then proceeded to leave the spot. 5-0 shows up, and she has to be restrained using a "takedown manuever", over some beauty supplies? And word came out today that she might have more problems on her hands, for the NY probation officers said she wasn't even supposed to be in Florida. It's just sad. You'd think deaf people wouldn't be allowed to express their inner rage on unsuspecting beauty shop employees...

02/Speaking of artists who have had a hard last couple of years, Michael Jackson's name has popped up surprisingly in the last week. First off, he has tapped Simon Fuller, one of the heads behind Pop Idol, American Idol, and the Spice Girls, to help mastermind his pop comeback. If this means that MJ will be walking through Idol moonwalking and laughing with Paula Abdul, count me out. I don't see the attraction for Fuller, who should have enough on his plate to deal with. Is Mike that bankable as an artist these days? In a similar, funnier story, some nigga named DJ Tempamental has a track called "No Friend Of Mine (Gangsta)" up on his MySpace page, featuring both Mike and the Fugees' Pras. I don't get it at all, honestly. Mike calling himself "the new gangsta", but he beat his case. You aren't gangsta for not going to jail, dog. Grow up -- oh wait, you're Peter fucking Pan! Good luck with your career, Michael, but I think you are so disconnected with today's scene, you might be up for a big disappointment. Or maybe I will have to eat my words...

03/Austrian officials finally let the world know about the disgusting misfortune 3 daughters met at the hands of their mother. From the report, this mother, who is a lawyer, got a divorce from her husband, and won custody of the girls, at the time aged 7, 11 and 13. She took them out of school, and left them locked in a room... for 7 years. This situation is awful: they had no exposure to natural light to the point that they can't be in natural light right now. They spent the first few weeks out of their captivity huddling in the darkest spot of the place they were staying. The oldest girl was rendered helpless, only being able to stand on one leg and constantly crying. What's so shocking about this situation is that with the mother's law background, she might be able to manipulate her situation using the law to her advantage. You can't change the law, but you've seen it get reamed time and again. We can only hope that monsters like that get shut down for good. Fucking crying shame... speaking of mistreated kids, check out this CNN article about child soldiers.

04/The Mixtape Wars have a new chapter in the saga, this time Universal Music Group vs. DJ Swindle. Swindle has created mixtapes marrying Mobb Deep and Bob Marley, Nas & Al Green and the one that is currently the focus of debate/legal action, the "80 Cent" project, which took 50 acapellas and classic 80's tracks and mashed them all up. I wasn't a big fan, but it is what it is. UMG has made dude cease his promoting of this mixtape, and have even had his MySpace page deleted/changed. Swindle spoke to HHNLive and gave a good point about the industry putting acapellas on 12" singles and such, but then getting mad when people use them. My thought on this situation? The industry is shooting itself in the foot. Their promotion game is not on point, that's why so many artists are going to mixtape DJs and getting on that grind. They make loot AND get to hype their projects. The industry is willing to sign and rape an MC, but will stop the one circuit that is providing a lot of the heat and word of mouth on these niggas getting signed! We are in an age where niggas get signed based on their following (i.e. this dude sold 50K mixtapes in his hood), yet once they get on, you expect these cats to not get on the mixtape grind? Sounds kind of shady... and before they go into "piracy costing us billions", don't forget that LEGAL DOWNLOADING is on the rise.

05/With the NBA's All Star weekend activities going down this weekend, I thought it was kind of crazy that Tim Hardway decided to come out his mouth about gay NBA players. He actually said "I Hate Gay People", which in turn the interviewer was like "dogs, you're being homophobic", to which Tim then came out his face like "yeah I'm homophobic", bascially saying "so what, I said it". Is Tim high or drunk or something? I mean, I can see you disliking some group of people, that's your own ignorance and hate. The thing is, I looked up to dude. I was a fan of "Run TMC", and even followed him when he went to the Heat. I just don't get how you can be in that spot, as someone that kids and just ballers look up to, and you can be that fucking ridiculous in the media. He must have gotten some serious flack from someone, for he spent the rest of this week apologizing for his remarks, but come on. Just like a white person can't live down calling someone a black ass nigger, ignorant ass basketball players cannot live down saying they hate gay people. Tim probably takes it up the ass anyways.

06/The Japanese have a serious piece of history to fix on their plate right now. Women who were sexually brutalized by the Japanese soldiers during WWII took their horrible memories to Congress this week, part of a committee's plea to make the Japanese government offer up a formal apology to these surviviors. The thing that surprised me about this situation is that they aren't even trying to get paid off of it. Is that a cultural thing? Niggas in the US stay talking reparations for slavery, like they could name the families that enslaved their forefathers. These women lived through this shit, 60 years ago, and just want the Japanese to be like "we're sorry, it happened and it shouldn't have". That's heart. They have such fury over the way they were treated, but only want a sincere apology. Maybe, during Black History Month, us Black folk might want to reevaluate how we are going about reclaiming our dignity for the shit that has happened to us...

07/The media seemed to jump on the news that LOST has plummeted in the ratings since their switch from Wednesdays @ 9PM to 10PM, as to not battle with Idol. My initial reaction is, yo, it's been TWO FUCKING WEEKS, who is to say that more fans are just not really up on the change as of yet? This article up on Yahoo! seems to be piercing, speaking to this cat Marc Berman, who cannot be biased because they admit that he is an upset fan who thinks they mishandled the show. If you are a reporter, having an opinion is one thing, but why would I want to speak to someone who on the one hand represents a news website, but then is a disgruntled fan? He says that ABC has put the nail in the coffin, mainly b/c they take too long exposing pieces of the puzzle, as well as taking too long between parts in this season. While those points might be true, they have also been poured over time and again, from the reasoning why filming a show like LOST in Hawaii takes longer than a normal show and how that relates to the rigid TV schedules set up by the majors. And how are you a fan of LOST and you spend your time being upset about the way they divulge info? That has been a piece of their makeup from day dot, so you are basically pissed at yourself for sticking with it for so long. Cats like THAT put the nail in the coffin prematurely. Long live LOST, I don't see it going anywhere.

08/I have to say that this week was a pretty hectic one for white females in Hollywood. To top things off, Nicole Richie got charged with DUI stemming from the situation in Dec. 2006 when she was high off weed and pharms and sitting in her idling whip. She might end up getting a year in jail along with a $1K fine, but I highly doubt she will see one day in jail. Just a hunch... Kim Mathers, fka Mrs. Marshall Mathers, reportedly went on some Detroit radio show and let this gem slip out of her mouth: "I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name." WTF you still talking about him then? I guess your meal ticket in the fame game is hard to let go... Speaking of riding the coattails of success, this Anna Nicole Smith fiasco is ridiculous. The latest news this week is that her will left everything to her deceased son. Why the media is so surprised is anyone's guess - the will is old anyways. The problem is that she made a specific note in there that her son be the only one to get her estate, not allowing any kids born after him to get a piece of it. The fucked up part? Howard K. Stern, her possible-baby daddy and lawyer, is the executor, so I am guessing he will be profiting off the large chunk he will cut for himself. I saw on GMA today that he is going to court on Tuesday about this to try and get it set straight. If he doesnt' cake off, I will be SO surprised... and there's no way I could go on this week without giving my $0.02 on this Britney Spears rehab/baldness situation. From what I've read/seen on TV, the word is that her family thought she was bugging out, and decided to have her go into rehab, but Brit was there for less than a day, said "fuck this shit, this ain't me", and dipped. Here's where it gets odd: she gets back, goes to a tatoo spot, gets a few new markings and shaves her head after the salon worker was like "I won't cut it"? You have to feel for homegirl. Fuck those who say this is some promotional stunt. Homegirl might have fallen off the wagon or gone loco, but the description about the transaction shows me someone who is crying out for help, someone who is going through something serious and is trying to figure out a way to change things. I hope she can find her way, for I think she can get back on top if she wants it. I just want to know: was K-Fed really that good of a man that the divorce/separation started this off, or is it deeper than this?

09/Speaking of the Entertainment Industry, let's shoot some quick links at you muckety mucks: on the interview side, Rizoh broke bread with Fabolous for About: Rap, Prodigy (with The Alchemist on the helpout) chat it up with All Hip-Hop, and Papoose sat down with Prefix to do the same... Beyonce graced the cover (and inside) of the latest Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, which just screams "we've been losing money on our previous issues" loud and clear. Why there are no ass shots is kind of silly to me... Speaking of Beyonce, Idolator speculates on the real reasons why Kelly Rowland's album keeps getting pushed back... Do you think there is enough material to make a Milli Vanilli movie? Someone does; I personally thought their Behind The Music was more than enough... I hope this one isn't true: word is J.Lo and Marc Antony are dipping into the Scientology nonsense, having been spotted at crazy meetings since December of 06. I felt fucked up when I found out Beck was a Scientologist, and then I found out that one of my childhood crushes, Leah Remini, was a Scientologist as well, I almost fell out (word is Leah and J.Lo are buddies now, too)... Chris Cornell split from Audioslave, which makes them reuniting to form Rage Against The Machine all the more special... Why does Juelz Santana and Paul Wall getting beats from former blink182 drummer Travis Barker sound so un-appetizing?... and finally, Al Gore is setting up Live Earth, trying to get over 100 performers to rock out all over the globe for 24 hours in the name of global warming (which is ironic, considering the amount of electricity that will be used up on that one day alone).

10/Now for the buckshot from the rest of the news for this week: here's a few how-to's from my wife - how to French Kiss (I asked her if she was trying to say something, but she assured me I had nothing to worry about), how to create an iPod tarot deck (spooky!) and, from MSNBC.com's Red Tape, how to make those telemarketers pay IN CASH... a county in New York is trying to ban the "N-word" for good. Good luck with that one, I don't see it going down at all... MySpace is trying to appease the majors by setting up a video filtering system to help block copyright material, like these kids won't find ways around these great white hopes... Nashville was one veto away from becoming an English-only city... GMail is finally available to the public, and no longer needs an invite... the US Mint has put out new $1 coins, but will that mean that retailers will still look at you like you tried to pay in amusement park tokens?... research is showing that there are more autistic people out there than once thought of, but its mainly due to more people finally speaking out... this 19 y/o male got arrested for agitating a police K-9 -- say whaaa?... as for right now, anyone trying to trademark "Obama bin Laden" is going to get shut down... and say a prayer for Stumpy, the 4 legged duck.

11/And in my last bit of news, I want to highlight two deaths, one that seems to have caused the other: at the age of 93, Robert Adler has passed away. He is the man who invented the remote control, a device that controls the TV viewings of many a family. We learned the longevity of batteries, the different ways lasers and beams work, and all other sorts of neat things through this invention. Essentially, Mr. Adler single handedly invented the couch potato as well... which brings me to the 2nd death: Vinnie Ricardo was found dead this week, having spent a year in front of the TV, deceased. Could his family sue? I mean, he was blind, but enthralled enough in the TV that he died right there. Anyways, the other question is, how was his electricity still on? A live family in my city could get their shit cut after 2 (or 3) unpaid bills... but this dude can sit DEAD in front of his boob tube, and the juice would still be going? Inconceivable...

I leave you guys with Grandmaster Flash from Wild Style, a movie I still haven't watched today. I was going to, but didn't get around to it. In any case:


Until next time...

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