So I'm up at like 6AM this morning or so, mainly because lil' man has this habit of not being able to get back to sleep without being in his parent's bed. I decided to take the couch, and have wifey cuddle with the lil guy. I went downstairs, and although I was tired as hell, I turned on the TV and flipped to HBO, where Wayne's World was just starting. During the "Bohemian Rhapsody" bit, I noticed that dude in the back is fucking Tobias Beecher, the new-age Job in OZ, one of the 3 greatest HBO dramas of all time. How in 5 years he went from random head-banger in a few SNL spin-off flicks to a man who got ass-raped and had a swastika tatt'd on his asscheek in the first episode of a prison drama is beyond me, but it made me realize something... in 5 years, you can do anything.
Almost five years ago, I was just getting into the "living-together" situation with my now-wife. We were pretty much destined to live the rest of our lives together, and we both know that it is for the best. The thing is, if you had told me a year before then that I'd be living with an older woman and becoming a father to her 2 daughters, I'd call you a crazy man. Strange how life changes, no? Now, I am almost 2 years married, we added a third (and final?) seed to our plant, and I am on the course to being a decent human being. No more wildness, no more smoking (the occasional cigar or cigarillo is never out of the question), and just all around homebody. Do I regret anything? No, for if I changed one thing, I wouldn't be the me I am right now, and I kind of dig myself. Do I think I could be doing better? Surely...
Why do I bring all of this up, you might ask? Well, I have to get these things down somewhere. I know many of you out there are, like me, stuck in ruts, whether it's creatively, job-wise, or just life in general. You have things you are thinking of doing, or want to do, but either don't have the balls or the means to get it done. Well, shit, I also figured that, when this magazine The Flow I was writing for went under, I would have nowhere to get my writing out. I finally decided to do what I should have done years ago, and started this blog. Now, look at me... I have a running resume of my works, and have conducted interviews with some pretty ill figures in the music scene. Can I do better? Surely... I should be buying some webspace and making this bigger, but right now, I like where I'm at. I have enough freedom where I have no regrets, but not enough stress where I want to end this at all. All deadlines are self-imposed, and not corporate, so I can keep my cool and not bug out if something is late. I'd love to do this professionally, but I'm not sure of the right outlet for a writer like me - I am not conventional in any sense of the word, and it's hard to get good pay for blogging just anywhere. We'll see.
In any case, I just want to say, you guys have the power to be anything. Don't look at life in some fixed scope of time -- it might take 5 years for your pivotal role to be realized, so headbang your way along until it comes, and once you sense it - seize it. Get naked, get drunk, put on makeup, do whatever it takes to make them know you mean business. You will earn your respect, and with respect comes new opportunities.
Be safe tonight, and catch me tomorrow.
Peace and love,
khal
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