Can i borrow a dollar?

As I listen to my son hum in the background, I sit here, applying to work-at-home jobs and these "pay to blog" ones as well... trying to be the perfect father and a freelance writer is not easy.

I just have dreams that seem impossible. Is my writing that horrid that I cannot get paid to do what moves me? Is this world really so insane that people can fake a degree and fabricate their entire careers, or make up chunks of their lives and become best sellers, yet a nigga who writes what he feels ends up penniless? I mean, I do my writing... not to brag, but my writing has appeared for not only Dogs On Acid, one of the largest electronic dance music websites out there, but I have done pieces for the now defunct e-zine, The Flow, as well as had my pieces land on press releases for the Horizons Music Group of labels in the UK. I have done interviews and reviews (check the right panel if you doubt me) for this site, and continue to plug away when needed or drove to. My output might not be in the numbers of someone like Bol, but I still puts in my work. I just don't get what I need to do... should I go on an attack, ranking on fellow bloggers and the hands that feed me? Should I start some ridiculous plot to get Dubya to notice my posts? Do I need to get cancer or something, and devote long posts to chemo?

I am not going to sell out, nor sell myself for something I do not believe is geniuine... yet it seems like that's what I have to do.

This isn't a cry for help, this is just a rant. Journal-taktics, bitch. Soak it up.

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