The Sopranos, Season 6: "Cold Stones" [recap]

The Sopranos is known for packing a lot into an hour, and this episode was one of the meatier ones of this season. It started off right in the midst of Tony walking in on an argument between Carm and AJ. AJ apparently got fired 3 weeks ago for selling promo items from Blockbuster. While he tried to defend his acts as him caring for the environment, Tone let him know that even "Rhesus monkeys" work at those stores. When T and Carm walk out of the living room, AJ punkishly flips them off. Lil' bitch.

With that on her mind, Carm can't sleep. T tries and fails to get her calm so he can rest his bones, but out of nowhere Meadow walks in, announcing that she is off to California, chasing punk ass Finn. She says she is going to get an internship studying medicine for her med. school apps, but Carm suspects she's just there for Finn. She even questioned their relationship turmoil, to which Meadow acted like that was new info to her. Meadow further stunned them by saying that she doesn't even know if she'd make it home for Christmas. The fuck?! With this on her mind, Carm decides the next day that she wants to take that trip to Paris she won. Tony is at first not feeling that arrangement, but after her talking about the year she's had, T says she should go, so Rosalie and Carm are Frenchie bound.

In France, Carm has some deep thoughts and good times. They eat in the best restaurants, Ro flirts with some young French dude, they shop out, and even see the sights. It's been noted that during a lot of the scenes, Carm is fond of a bunch of pieces referencing the Virgin Mary and other things of that ilk, which cause her to contemplate a "who am I?" school of thought. They visit a church, and Carm noticed that Ro lit 2 candles, seemingly for Jackie Sr. and Jackie Jr. When she tries to speak about this with Ro at dinner one night, Ro becomes upset, asking why she brought New Jersey to France. Ro opened up a bit, but was visibly disgusted. Carm apologized, but the thoughts were still on her mind. She had a telling dream featuring Adrianna and the rat-dog that Christopher sat on. She’s talking to Carm in the dream, when some dude comes up behind her and says something like "someone needs to tell your friend that she's dead". Deep shit, no? I still suspect that Carm is either going to investigate what happened to Ade or that shit is going to come to surface... whichever way, someone will have to pay for that.

Tony, who couldn't make the trip, had other things on his mind. Early on, Phil gives him some bad news: he can't keep up a 5 no-show job deal they worked out. Tony realizes that Phil is power tripping while Johnny is "folding laundry in Danbury", and is disgusted. To add fuel to the flame, Vito confronts Tony while he's reading a paper in the mall! When Tony is startled to see Vito, Vito immediately is like "my brother is over there", which is just a dick move. You'd really think T would clip Vito in the middle of that crowded mall? Anyways, Vito first tries to lie: he says that he was not gay, it was his fucking blood medication (??!?!?!), leading to this funny ass exchange:

Vito: "If you want proof, I can probably get a letter from my doctor."

Tony: "A note from your doctor sayin' you don't like to suck cock?"

In any case, Vito then suggests a $$$ fronting to Tony in exchange for a piece of the action. He wants to run a thing down in AC: drugs, girls, whatever, with a cut going to Tony. T thinks if over, and when he vocalizes the situation to the guys @ The Bing, they reject the offer cold. Tough break.

In one sad scene, Vito is eating a meal with his kids, lying to them about him being in the CIA or some shit. They believe him, thinking he is on secret missions, promising not to tell. Damn shame. He also calls Johnnycakes, who let's him know that he is very fucked up and doesn't want to have anything to do with him.

Tony realizes later that Vito has to go. He has to do it to make right with Phil -- this whole season he's been satisfying Phil, like that fuck really cares about him. He doesn't iron out plans, but he makes it clear to Sil that the plan should be put into motion soon. Later, T eyes a girl at the Bing and gives her a ride home... with her head in his lap. I thought he was panic attacking but no, that was just an orgasm. After dropping her off, he gets a call from Vito, wanting to set up a meeting. Too little, too late...

Vito catches it from two of Phil's goons, a guy named Dom and another guy. They smack him with a pipe when he comes back to his motel room. Phil (literally) then comes out of the closet to finish the job of murking Vito who (figuratively) came out of the closet. Before they beat Vito to death, he tells him that he is a "fucking disgrace".

Bobby Bacala brings the bad news to T and the crew @ the Bing (Vito even had a cue stick shoved up his ass when he was found), and T plays it off like its no thing. In private, he confides in Silvio that this does not look good @ all. Phil is showing that he doesn't give a fuck about what he does anymore. Sil asks if they should murk one of the NY boys, but T shoots that down. They don't want a war; he says they should hit him in his wallet, b/c that's all Phil really cares about anyways. Smart move... fucked up it didn't go that route.

The next day, Dom (one of the NY guys), Carlo and Silvio are at the Bing making food. Dom keeps coming with jokes about Vito ("You know the autopsy found a three ball in his side pocket"), which pissed both of them off -- so much that Carlo stabs Dom in the tummy! A few more stabs go, and fat ass Dom is dead on the table. T pulls up and wants to go in the Bing backroom, but Sil tries to play block at the door. Doesn't work. T sees this display and is disgusted. He says no words, just turns around and walks out, with Sil screaming behind him "you didn't see nothing!" ... can it really be that simple? Are we really ready for a 7 years war? Is it really necessary?

After this fucked up day, T comes home to see AJ on the couch playing video games. He had expressed earlier in the episode, to Melfi, that he actually hates AJ, wanted to fuck him up while seeing him in a "chit-chat room" online in his undies, laughing like an idiot. He then says he couldn't hit him if he wanted to, due to his size, which he says he got from Carm's side. Melfi points out that his hatred for that is due to the fact that AJ was raised the way he wasn't. T got his shit pushed in on the regular, by his pops, and Carm protected AJ, for good or ill. When Tony sees AJ at the couch, he’s ready to talk to him. He takes him in the garage and lets him know he has a job lined up for him: construction at 7am. In the winter. AJ thinks it’s all bullshit, and tries to brush it off. Tony gets pissed, telling him he’s going to start losing his shit 1 by 1. AJ tries to be cool, but then Tony bashes AJ’s windshield with a helmet. Sure enough, AJ is up and ready for the cold work life. We’ll see if this keeps up.

Vito's death made the paper, and not only did the photographer from the "Fit Club" we saw Vito pose for in the season premiere, but his fucking KIDS see it. His daughter is confused, but his boy knows what it is. He knows that his pops lied, and now knows that he was a homo. How fucking tough is that?!

The Sopranos is going on hiatus for another week, so it’s looking like we’ll have to wait for next month for the finale. I’m psyched. So psyched.

I won’t comment on the preview now; I’ll save that for when the new episode is in queue.

RIP Vito, you fat lying bastard.

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